Adulting During Divorce
Adulting during your divorce may be difficult, but it is absolutely necessary. While there are some areas of your life you can just throw up your hands and say, “I don’t feel like adulting today”, your divorce is not one of them. You are going to have to muster every ounce of discipline and maturity you have to make it through your divorce.
Age is No Excuse
Typically, if you are old enough to enter into marriage then you are old enough to know the difference between a good idea and a bad idea. It may brighten your day to go on a shopping spree and wrack up credit card debt. However, this is clearly a bad idea. You may find catharsis in running a house key down the side of your ex’s car. Still, a very, very, bad idea.
Remember that every decision you make while in the midst of a divorce will be scrutinized by your ex, their lawyer, and the court. How can your attorney argue that you are a reliable parent, with sound judgment, if you have shown a pattern of impulsive or destructive behavior?
It is understandable that at some point in your divorce you may break down in tears publicly. No one can fault you for reaching a breaking point. Divorce is terribly sad and difficult for all those involved. However, what you can be faulted for, is angry emotional outbursts. Long Facebook rants or passive aggressive comments. Yelling at your ex or their family in public. These can all come back to bite you.
The best way to avoid this situation is to avoid triggers. Unfollow or even unfriend your ex and their family on social media to avoid the 2:00 am stalking session. Change up your routine so as not to run into volatile people. Most helpful of all, make honest efforts to let go of the hurt and the anger you feel. If you continue to feed the anger fire, it’s only a matter of time before you get burnt.
Ok, here it is ladies and gentlemen. The key component of adulating during divorce is to simply be the adult. Wake up and go to your job, provide for yourself and your children. Pay your bills, spend your money responsibly. Spend your time with family and quality friends. Focus on self-care such as your health, fitness, and spirituality. If you are making these activates your focus, you are adulating like a champ! Better yet, you will be so busy, you won’t have time or energy for non-adulting-non-sense.
Wake up every day determined to be more productive, happy, and at peace than you were the day before. Do this, and you my friend will be adulting during divorce.