Don’t Sabotage Yourself with Social Media

Social media can be a great way to keep in touch with friends and relatives all over the world.  It can also be a great big noose from which you hang yourself.  Keep reading to learn how to avoid the digital hangman.

Impulse Control

We have all felt the impulse to post a snarky status or a passive aggressive comment but if you are in the middle of a divorce or a custody battle it is imperative you resist temptation!  At 2:00 am, after a couple of nightcaps, it can be really difficult to breeze past that picture of your ex and their new boo.

While it may give you some sense of relief to vent your frustrations over Facebook, that peace is temporary.  Without fail, your post will get back around to your ex.  Even if you block your ex and their whole family from your social media, there is still a good chance you share a mutual friend who is happy to stir the pot.  Take control over the information you are putting into the world and save yourself serious grief down the road.

Consequences

You may think, “who will hold it against me for saying my ex is a big cheaty-cheater-pants?” Well, the court may.  In resolving custody issues the court considers the likelihood each parent will foster a positive relationship with the other parent.  If you come across as volatile and immature to the court, you could put custody in jeopardy.

Likewise, if you are in the middle of a family court proceeding and your ex is behaving inappropriately on social media, document it and discuss it with your attorney.  However, do not engage with the inappropriate behavior.  Even if you know you are in the right, simply rising above and choosing not to respond will serve you in the long run.

Remember, once something is on the internet it is there forever.  You can’t put the genie back in the bottle.  Facebook is the proverbial Pandora’s box. No take backs, only apologies.  Big ones.

Hold the Phone.

Don’t forget, in the age of smartphones, everything that happens on your phone is immortal too. You may not have meant it when you texted your ex to tell them they were one shell short of a taco, but it still matters!  An easy rule of thumb is to assume nothing between you and your ex is private anymore.  Everything is subject to court scrutiny.

If you know that you struggle to maintain calm conversations with your ex face to face, be exceptionally mindful over text.  Emotion, tone, and inflection are lost over text and can be easily misinterpreted.  Try to limit your communication to just the essentials so there is less opportunity for a fight.  Keeping your emotions in check will save you a headache and wallet ache as you navigate this difficult time.  Not to mention, if there are children involved, they deserve as much peace and stability as you can give them.

If you and your spouse are separated and considering divorce, contact me to discuss your options. You don’t have to face this uncertainty alone.